Brain dead
If I do a single more question on integration, I think my head is gng to explode and I'll go into spasms.... the problem is, even after practicing so much, I'm still not totally getting it~! arghh...At least I think I can safely say that I'm not gng to flunk it come exam time, but I really think its a bloody waste of my time to spend so much time and effort on it if I'm not gng to get an A or something out of it. I have not started on any of my other modules yet and I'm really hoping that I can get a set of great results this year to pull up my level of honours that was doomed by my disastrous first year results... sigh... really regret... Hope I dun end up with a 3rd class honours, it already sucks being a 2nd class citizen, imagine being one with a 3rd class honours in our
Taking my mind off studies, exams and politics for a moment, I somehow came to realise what an asshole I am sometimes. I really think I have a split personality, how else can you explain the fact that I can be one moment someone who is so righteous and upright about what is right or wrong, black or white, with no grey areas, while a moment later, I can be the most unscruplous s.o.b that is not above lying, cheating or stealing so as to achieve my aims. Or have I really become so practical and pragmatic that I can on one hand hold a set of principles and beliefs while on the other hand, apply them flexibly, weighing the opportunity costs to see if it was worthwhile to hold my belief at that point of time? What have I become??? And I can come up with a 101 warpped reasons to justify my actions no less.
Somedays, I petrify even myself.
posted by Nutcracker @ 1:25 am
1 Comments:
I know what you mean. It is always like this. I always want an A but don't really get it. School is very stressing indeed.
Split personality? I guess many people has it. Including me.
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