I am nuts

So tired

Been a real busy and tired week. Interviews after interviews, but nothing concrete has yet to come out of it, I'm feeling so sick of it all. Feeling so useless as you get rejection after rejection, something that I'm honestly not too used to getting. Growing more and more depressed with each passing day.

Had thought that after selling off the pub, maybe can take my time to look for a job as I would at least have some cash to tide me over for the next couple of months. However, it only seems to accentuate my uselessness as I bummed around all day, doing nothing and seemingly sponging off the family.

Had thought that maybe I can spend more time with my gal, now that I actually had both the time and some more spare cash, but it somehow feels that the feeling ain't mutal... There's so many other things that she needs to do, so many other people she needs to talk to, so many other activities she'll rather do. Its really sad for me when I see how she's enjoying the company of others or enjoy doing other things yet when she's with me or even talking to me, she seems so off and distanced, like there's a wall between us, I keep hearing myself bouncing off that invisible wall.

Why do I keep failing, in more ways than one?

Why do I need to keep 'bouncing back' in life? Can't I just not fall?

I'm tired.

posted by Nutcracker @ 12:58 pm